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Writer's pictureJerilyn McKeon PharmD, BCACP

The Art of Saying "No": Creating Healthy Boundaries that allow for you to Move Forward with Success

Updated: May 26, 2023

Saying "no" is not something that has always come easy to me. However, as I have gotten older I have realized that not only saying "no" but also creating boundaries help to create an environment that will enable success for myself.


Establish Priorities

There is a common demonstration where the presenter starts with two large empty vases and then they try to have each vase hold as many of the various sized objects as they can. The objects include small pebbles, larger rocks or different sized marbles.




The presenter with the first vase initially starts by adding all of the small pebbles into the vase and before you realize it there is no room for the larger rocks and marbles.


The presenter then takes the second vase and first adds the larger rocks and marbles following up with pouring in the little pebbles. The pebbles work their way into the crevices, nooks and crannies filling up all of the empty space.



This demonstration visually illustrates that if one starts with the priorities and larger tasks they then will have room for other smaller items. In contrast, if one starts on the little things first then before you know it your day has been consumed by the little odds and ends that can monopolize your day and you don't have room for the bigger priorities.


It is important to determine what is the most pressing issue you have and find ways to focus on these areas first before shifting to the smaller items.


Creating Boundaries

In order to protect the priorities one will need to establish boundaries.

  • Protect time: To protect time by designating certain time slots for certain tasks. Or not taking work calls after a certain time.

  • Protecting certain space: Such as protecting your home by not taking work home.

  • Protect safety: Such as demanding for an adequate amount of work support to ensure safety is protected and a priority.

  • Protecting ethical or moral boundaries: Everyone may have a certain ethical or moral line that they will not cross. They may have a certain stance or view of a subject that they will not entertain discussions on.


Put in place a work flow

Putting into place a standard work flow helps to protect the boundaries you have created. Work flows not only ensure that the boundaries are respected but they also ensure a consistent process which will further the promotion of efficiency.


Stay Consistent

Once the boundaries have been established it is important to be consistent and protect those boundaries. If you start to make concessions on these, then you have negated the boundary and you effectively no longer have one. By maintaining priorities and boundaries there is also a less likelihood of burnout.



**Please take note, my views are my own and are not associated or representative of my employer(s). This website and its associated platforms are for education purposes only and not medical advice.

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