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Writer's pictureJerilyn McKeon PharmD, BCACP

The Mother & Son Relationship: A Key to Raising Responsible & Compassionate Men who Respect Women

Updated: May 26, 2023


Mother & Son Dancing
My oldest son and I dancing at his wedding

I was a boy Mom before I had my girls. I have 4 children and my boys are the book ends. My oldest and my youngest are about 13 years apart. (This piece will probably lean more heavily on experiences with my oldest as my youngest has many years left of growing until he faces some of the topics I am mentioning)


I love being a boy Mom. I know as a mother of boys my main responsibility as a Mom is to prepare him fo not only a Career but to also prepare him for relationships and marriage. As his mother, I am his confidant and his first introduction to how relationships should be. I know that if I have done my role right then ultimately I will be replaced as his go to confidant. He should be going to his spouse and working through life challenges as a team with her.


Love him:

When I became a Mom, which does not seem so very long ago when I look back now, I knew my life was never going to be the same and I was so glad to have this little baby in my arms looking up at me. It was love at first sight. This little boy was my world. Remember there is never a cap on love.


Be his buddy:

Boys are so much fun!! Be their buddy. Play with them. From the time my boys were young, we built this special bond that was unbreakable.


Be there.

Knowing when to stand up and fight for him while helping him to find his voice and learning to be his own advocate.


Your son needs to know you will always be in his corner. He needs to know when life gets tough and the challenges come you will be there to help him get through it. He needs to know that you are there to stand up for him and what is right however there will come a time when he has to learn to fight his own battles. So help him prepare and learn how to navigate challenges in a healthy way. Learning to navigate conflict constructively is an art. It is not something that is inherent. Help him to learn healthy ways to handle conflict resolution.


Remember he is observing and watching

Your son is watching you. He is watching how you allow others to treat you and the interactions you have. Show him one should be treated and how it is healthy to set healthy boundaries and eliminate toxic relationships.


Guide him...who you know he can be:

At times it is important to remind yourself that you are fighting for him not against him. Being a boy especially during those pre-teen and teen years, I can only imagine is difficult. As they go through these years trying to discover who they are. Be someone he can talk to. As a Mom you are there to set healthy boundaries and help him and navigate these difficult years.


Believe in him

There are always doubters. For some reason boys are often not allowed to dream. They often have people reminding them of the harshness of reality and responsibility. Although it is important to prepare them for reality it is also important to allow for dreaming. Let them dream big. If later that dream does not become a reality that is fine but don't be the one that is deciding the fate. Let things play out.


Positive role models

Ultimately we are all trying to raise boys that will be positive contributors to society. We want men who are willing and able to stand up for what is right. We want to raise leaders that work as a team not only in the workforce but also at home with their spouse and families. Making sure your son has men in their lives that demonstrate and emulate how to treat a woman. Unfortunately there are always good and not so good role models out there. Surround him with people who treat women well.


Preparing him for his next chapter in life

As my oldest was nearing the end of high school, I had so many emotions. On one hand I could not wait to see the man he had become and what life had in store for him, yet so sad to see my chapters with him get smaller and smaller. Yet I knew that if I had done my job correctly this is exactly what would and should happen. My role was changing. All this time I was preparing him and I'm not sure I had prepared myself.


Handing him off

As I mentioned before my main responsibility as a Mom was to prepare my son to not only enter into the work force, have a career and to also prepare him to be a positive role model and contributor to society, but also to prepare him for relationships. Preparing him for a relationship with his spouse to have a healthy team approach to navigate their future life. Healthy relationships and marriage require an equal partnership with discussions and compromise. On my son's wedding day, as I looked at him, I felt nothing but pride in the man he has become.


**Please take note, my views are my own and are not associated or representative of my employer(s). This website and its associated platforms are for education purposes only and not medical advice.

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